The Importance of Discussing End-of-Life Wishes Regarding Assets

There are plenty of conversations you likely want to have before you pass away. Your end-of-life wishes are arguably one of the most important because you won’t have the ability to delegate anything after you’re gone. Proactive communication about asset distribution can help family members and loved ones deal with the often burdensome task of settling your estate, handling property, and managing finances after your death. While it isn’t a comfortable conversation, it’s a crucial one. Luckily, it can be made easier with some reframing and sensitivity.

Family Conflicts Involving Assets After a Passing

You may not want to think about your loved ones arguing after your death — especially if it’s over something that you’ve left behind for them to deal with. However, family conflict during bereavement is a far-too-common issue. The stress of dealing with after-death processes often overtakes the opportunity for families to come together and comfort each other in their time of shared loss.

Estate Planning vs. Writing a Will

Estate planning involves deciding exactly how your assets will be handled upon disability or passing. It includes a will, which is a statement of how your assets will be distributed. This can also be a revocable living trust, an agreement for a trustee to handle the estate that can be canceled at any time.

However, an estate plan is more comprehensive than this. It is an extensive guide to how to handle things when you can no longer assist, such as finances and medical care. You’ll want to include detailed instructions and let trusted people know where to keep these documents safe for future use. The following are some assets to consider when creating your estate plan and preparing to talk to your loved ones.

Outstanding Loans

Outstanding loans can be a significant part of your financial picture. When you pass away, your loans don't disappear — they become part of your estate. It's important to address these loans in your estate plan to ensure a smooth transition for your loved ones. Handling outstanding car loans after death, for example, may involve selling the vehicle, paying off the loan, or transferring the loan to another party. Discussing these financial obligations and their resolution in your estate plan can help prevent confusion and disputes among your heirs.

When having conversations with loved ones about assets, make sure you are transparent about any of these loans. Let them know how much you expect to have paid off in a reasonable amount of time. Then, tell them about how the estate is responsible for paying off as much of your outstanding loans as possible before dividing it up amongst predetermined individuals. If it doesn’t cover it, individuals may choose to take over the loan and refinance it through the same lender.

Whatever the case is with your specific loan status, be upfront with loved ones. This way, they’re more prepared to deal with these loans instead of being bombarded without warning after you’re gone.


Property, including your home, can be a valuable asset and a source of potential conflict among family members. Properly addressing the distribution or management of real estate in your estate plan can help mitigate disputes and ensure your property is handled according to your wishes.

Enhancing the value of your property during your lifetime can also be a strategic move to leave more valuable assets behind for your loved ones. Consider home improvements like kitchen and bathroom renovations, adding energy-efficient, modern upgrades or creating additional space. Consult with real estate professionals or contractors to determine which improvements will yield the best return on investment.

Properly maintaining your property is also essential to its long-term value. Regularly address issues like roof repairs, plumbing, electrical systems, and landscaping. A well-maintained property is more appealing to potential buyers and can command a higher price in the future market they’re dealing with when selling.

You may also choose to put limits on when those who inherit your property can sell it. It’s up to you, and it’s something that you should talk with those people about beforehand. They may have financial needs that you are unaware of, or the property may hold sentimental value to them that you didn’t realize before. You won’t know unless you talk about it.

How To Approach Asset Conversations With Sensitivity

Coping with the loss of a loved one starts before their death even occurs. Anticipatory grief is a very real thing, and you should try to be as sensitive to that as possible when talking about asset distribution with loved ones. Approach these conversations with compassion and an open mind.

You are likely going to go into the discussions with pretty rigid boundaries for your end-of-life wishes. However, it’s important to leave a little wiggle room. You may even want to split up the conversations in several ways, such as talking to different family members separately or having several sessions to discuss more lengthy, emotional topics. This also gives you and them time to reflect on your plans and figure out the best strategy for everyone involved.

Discussing your end-of-life wishes and assets with your loved ones through comprehensive estate planning can provide clarity, reduce the potential for conflicts, and help ensure your legacy is managed according to your desires. While these conversations may not be easy, they are essential for the well-being and financial stability of your family after you're gone.

Related Stories

Why is Pet Grief and the Holidays So Overwhelming?

Why is Pet Grief and the Holidays So Overwhelming?

Anyone who has lost a pet knows that it is like losing a member of the family. Yet, they may...

Read Blog
Holiday Grief: 5 Steps for Coping with the Sudden Loss of a Pet

Holiday Grief: 5 Steps for Coping with the Sudden Loss of a Pet

No one is prepared for dealing with the sudden loss of a pet. However, the holiday and New Year season can be...

Read Blog
Finding Joy in Grief During the Holidays

Finding Joy in Grief During the Holidays

This time of celebration may be tough for those missing loved ones during the holidays. What was once a joyous...

Read Blog

Start a new life together