Everyone grieves the loss of a loved one differently and grief has no defined timeline. There are many different emotions related to the loss of a loved one. You may be able to learn to live with it, but the feeling of loss may never go away.
Fear of Life after the Loss of a Loved One
One of the great barriers to moving on is fear of the unknown.
- How will you move forward without the person you depended upon?
- How will you survive financially?
- How will you face the unknowns in life without your partner?
Emotions are strong after the loss of a loved one and cause people to react differently. It’s not uncommon for some to withdraw from their community after the loss of a loved one. If you experience this, it may be for as simple a reason as you may not want to face questions about your loved one. Or, you may not want people to ask how you’re doing as you learn to live your life without your loved one.
A Personal Journey
Overcoming grief is your journey. No one else will have the same emotions, fears, and need for assistance as you. We know that what worked for us as we dealt with loss may not work for you. However, some of the more common ways to help us get through may be right for you.
Be a part of a community – Many people find solace in church or community organizations.
Join a support group – Group therapy helps thousands of people a year. Being able to share with others that have experienced the loss of a loved one allows you to understand you aren’t alone.
Change the scenery – It doesn’t have to be drastic. As a matter of fact, you may want to wait before making a major move. However, a new coat of paint, rearranging furniture or adding a new piece of furniture to your living space, can provide a dramatic change in mental outlook. Consider planning a trip that appeals to you. It may be the first step in learning to live without your loved one.
These are only examples of potential ways to recover or cope with the loss of a loved one. However, hopefully, they will help you with your journey.
There are many resources available online, in books and your community to help walk you from chaos to calm when faced with the loss of a loved one. Such loss may impact your life dramatically and professional council may be the best answer.
Here are some suggested reads and links to helpful guidance:
Afterloss: A Recovery Companion for Those Who Are Grieving by Barbara LesStrang
The Wilderness of Grief: Finding Your Way by Alan D. Wolfelt, Ph.D.
Angel Catcher: A Journal of Loss and Remembrance Diary by Kathy Eldon
I Wasn’t Ready to Say Goodbye: Surviving, Coping and Healing After the Death of a Loved One by Brook Noel and Pamela D. Blair, Ph.D.
Tear Soup: A Recipe for Healing After Loss by Pat Schwiebert, Chuck DeKlyen and Taylor Bills
When Bad Things Happen to Good People by Harold S. Kushner
When The Bough Breaks: Forever After the Death of a Son or Daughter by Judith R. Bernstein, Ph.D.
How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies by Therese A. Rando
How to Help a Grieving Parent (and Yourself) After the Death of Your Mom or Dad by Helen Fitzgerald
Bearing the Special Grief of Suicide by Father Arnaldo Pangrazzi